Her Zodiac = Her ilness...

...for those of us/you who are still slow today due to the past week & its lovey-dovey V-Day.
It's Cancer, that I'm talking of!

I do not know, what to make out of that. My mother is only in her mid-fifties. Always lived a healthy life-style.
She's religious & always did eat helal/kosher. Did always do what the Kur'an told her to do. (well, except for the headscraf wearing part & not to marry a heathen) :D
And that is what her God gives her... wow, what a fucking gorgeous present, Dude!

But what's puzzling me most is, her Doctor(General practitioner?) takes blood-samples from her every 3 Months & sends them to a lab because of her diabetes.
And only last December, when she stomped down her feet & told him that she had a bad feeling, and that he better look into it... did he find something.

And boy did he!
I mean honestly, what the Fuck?
Are you kidding me, you are a medical Doctor, and your Patient has to tell you that they have a 'weird' feeling, a hunch if you want to call it that, in order for you to finally move that crappy Ass of yours?

And the worst? I have 2 very big problems with this.

01. Being an pragmatic Agnostic, I can not find a way to vent off.
Also since I do not believe in god, why pray? -It won't help her or calm me.

Though I really do envy religious people at times, even though they know deep inside that their praying & pleading to their deities won't help, the feel like they did everything they could do within their power.

02. Then there is the strained relationship between me & my mother in general.
She did a lot of crap that changed my life for the negative & no amount of logical thinking, meditation and/or anything else can soften my heart.
Even though I sometimes wish it would, after all she is my mother. One half of me.

She didn't, and to be honest she still hasn't, really told me what is wrong with her.
I only know that she has 4 or 5 Metastases/Tumors. Two right under her heart & the rest somewhere in her midsection.
You know, she feels special(or more like a martyr) by not telling me the whole story...

*pfft* I just realised, that whenever I write something concerning my mother, it sounds 75% of the time as if I were a big ass!? :( I probably am...

I better stop here.
Oh yeah, and, the Year started so gorgeous... I really do not know who to thank for it. *sarcasm*

Yours,
Nokta

P.S.: Have a great Weekend... and make the most out of it...

6 Months later

I didn't really want to write anymore about the whole dieting stuff, since that first post last August.

But damn, today was the last day of my first Étape(6 Months) and how much do you think did I slim down?

-13kg's!!! (28.66lbs)

Also my body consists of 8% less fat than before I started the diet. A fact which is much more important to me, as though I only had lost weight without the fat percentage difference.

I do not want to lose muscles, you know?

I would have lost more weight (circa 6 to 8kg) but while on my diet, I had a few set backs(my health acting up & the week around new Year in which we eat as if our life depends on it) also I gained 3.6% of muscles, which makes a big difference, too (if a positive one).

My Belly & Butt are so much more firm and when I smack the latter now, it won't wobble.

Meaning, it doesn't look like I am Homer J. Simpson's long lost Sister or a Dancer from a 90'ties Rap Music Video shacking her arse to the beat right int the Camera. *phew*

(Ok, I might exaggerate a bit lot here, it never really wobbled like that in the first. But let me spin a yarn here, 'kay?)

Next Étape will take another 6 Months and hopefully another 13kg's! :D

I can't get enough of it!

Only real Downside to all this are two things.

I have to do sports 7 days a week, 25 minutes minimum every day. (Which my hips do not like at all)

Also I need to eat 4 to 5 small meals while drinking at least 1.5 litre of water per day. *bleh*

Well, I guess that's it for today.

Wish me luck for the next few Months you all... and if you're trying to get healthier I wish you good luck as well.

Also, any advice for me on how to make myself drink maybe 2 litres a day? -I would like to up my daily intake.

Thnx in advance.

Yours,

Nokta

Stocks & Resources from me to those of you who actually want them! Download, use & please credit!

Tg-TS-001 by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

Old School by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART

Woohoo, me gusta! *flails arms*

I know, I knoww... I shouldn't be so happy about a trivial thing such as this 'reply to your readers through threaded commenting' thingy, but I am.
I mean, come on how awesome is that!? :Ɖ
This will make it easier to reply to someone, whether it's just because you're chatty(like me) or because you honestly want to answer stupid questions(like mine).
I already tried it out in the comments of my last entry... très wow!

I've been rambling about it so long & lamenting its lack on blogger for years now, makes me feel like someone actually listens to my nagging!? ❤

O'kay... now that I stopped hyperventilating about this, I guess I can try to get some sleep.
Though, I think I will need my pre-bed fix of Sudoku first of course or else I might dream about little reply options & comment boxes.

So have a good Night & a beautiful Weekend my precious Darlings.

Yours,
 Nokta

Lo & behold... the year 2012!

I.
I am lazy & in need of punishment, but how was I supposed to know?
Life's been a bitch, losing fat was harder than necessary 'cause of my f*cking hips & back etc... :(
Yeah, well. I'll really try to post more often & to actually not forget my password so I can comment on your entries while logged-in,... but I guess that's what every procrastinator says, "I will do this & that! I totes swear, man!" & you might be sick of it already in real Life, so I better shut up and move on to the next topic...
(BTW... I think, I can hear my Echo in here. It feels kinda deserted!? Oh look, some cliché Tumbleweed just crossed my way!)

II.
New Year, new incentives?
My new Year resolutions are as follows... and I guess I'll actually want to go through with them.

01. Slim down at least 10 more kg's & 6% of fat in the coming 5 Months.
02. Blog more!?
03. Tackle the Shite around me & Declutter! (already started on that one last week)
04. Work on my Homepage.
05. Getting my arm inked!
06. Creating & starting on my "30-before-30" List.
07. Create a 2'nd Blog(plus a Tumblr?) about Food and/or Mugs/Bowls.
08. Do a major Backup & Digital Declutter on both my Notebook & my old Mac(Yes, it's almost 10 years old but still works fine)

What about yours?

III.
Seems like my Car kicked the bucket last week, I havent's had it for more than 9.5 Months... :(
I feel used & unloved!

IV.
'Cause I feel like it today!


V.
And last but not least...

Have a Happy New Year 2012!

And please be safe y'all, ja? ^_^

Manipulating in early stages

I was wading through my computer, found this by accident & I thought, I should show you one of the first few retouch/manipulation images I did back in I-Dunno. (+4 Years minimum I would reckon)
You always need a few works as a portfolio... for example, something like the picture on the left.
(Click on the image, for a bigger view!)

The left is the before, and the right is after I had my grabby hands on it.
01. I lightend & changed her hair-colour for a tiny fraction, to make it more reddish.
02. Gave her two orange-red strands, just to see if I was able to make it look realistic.
03. Made her dress green.
04. 'Gave' her some proper lipstick.
05. Changed the eye-colour & the kajal line around her eyes to grey, with a slight blueish tint.
06. Applied a tiny bit more of the rouge, that was already there.
07. There was something more, but I can not remember it for the life of me. :S

Back to the before-after thingy up there, I just wanted to show you some of the stuff, people actually pay for. And while it might not seem something of a huge change, you wouldn't believe what some people feel weirded out about in their personal images.
A too big nose here, an unwanted eye-colour there.
You get the point.

My fave part, that I did on this Woman, are her eyes. I'm a sucker for grey & green eyes.
And while, today, I can see a few errors in this image, I really do like it none the less.

By the way, she's a model & that shot is taken from a stock-artist on DA, so there was no really need to retouch any zits or so.
Although, I did not remove those tiny, barely visible, wrinkles around the eye, before sharpening the pic(without using actual sharpening tools, looks too fake). Back then I did not know how vain people really could be... how innocent I was.

I hope you like this entry, I was going to upload an mouseover/rollover image, but just did not fiind an online uploader to my liking, sorry.
I so do love mouseovers/rollovers, it's like watching magic happening just by flying over that image with your cursor. *sighs*

I better stop here. See you next time.

Yours,
Nokta

Now to the, not really obligatory, resources/stocks from me to those of you who actually want them! Download, use & have fun! And Crediting = Love!
TgS-17 by ~PinkPanthress-Stock
&
White Pine by ~PinkPanthress-Stock

Are you going to eat that?

So, another new Month or Year starting on a Monday. Again.
And I will try my hands on losing those fugly kg's of excess weight. Again.
Well, I will try to, which does not mean I will actually succeed.

First Day in and I already want to rip everyone's head off. I get pissed easily if I can not eat & drink when I am hungry.

Not to mention the 'Sugary Problem' I will inevitably face in less than 3 Days.
You see, I have kind of constant low blood sugar, so I need to stuff my face on time or I will become the most dangerous Bomb around you. Ready to explode, without warning.
Hmm, ok... if I do like you, I will warn you. Though, through gritted teeth.

Wish me lots of Luck, my precious Stalkers.
I really need it. *smootch*

Oh, and if you read a News Article in the coming Days, somewhere around my whereabouts, about a 20-something woman chewing off her fingers while dieting... think of me. *stomach growl*

Yours,
Nokta


And here the resources & stocks. Download, use & please credit!

TgS-16 by ~PinkPanthress-Stock
&

SF - D by ~PinkPanthress-Stock