Monday, 22 February 2010

How come, my blood isn't brown? :Đ

My parents made an egoistical mistake when they married.
You see, in Germany it was okay for a german woman to marry a non-german man, and to even have children with him.
Then there were the few fools who would marry a dutch, british or even an italian woman. That also was, to a certain degree, ok in Germany.
But a german man couldn't just marry a woman from Turkey, China or some weird Country like that.
Yet... father did so, he took the hot turkish Tourist as his wife.
So my two brothers and I had to suffer for it... *bleh*

Now to the actual Story... ;)
One evening, I was 3 or 4 maybe, father came home from work,. Doing manual labour & the commute on top was exhausting, so my mother would 'order' him to stay seated in his chair while she brought the dishes & the meal onto the dining table.
My brothers would also not move, because they were boys, and I?
I sat on fathers lap until my mother would seat herself, too, only then I would go & sit down on my own chair.
Sitting on fathers lap was the best part of the day, except when mother and I would have breakfast alone while everyone was at work & school.

That evening everyone was a bit lazy, mother had cut her finger while peeling the onions & I had seen her red blood flowing... remember I was circa 3.

I asked my father why my blood was not brown... you heard right, why was it not brown?
Everyone laughed at me. Mother, father & my two older brothers.

Now, why would I say this?
My mother was naturally tanned, and come next Summer she would get an even more pronunced tan & when she was younger the veins underneath her skin were almost not visible.
But my father was light skinned, with ash-blonde hair & light green eyes. His veins 'popping' out in a greenish-blue on the back of his strong hands. And I hadn't seen him actually bleeding...

I mean, everybody in our neighbourhood would say that me and my siblings were different.
(Behind mom's & dad's back only of course)
And since I had seen a fews days before on educational television, that if you mix more than 2 primary colours you got brown out of it.
The german's typical everyday racism confused me even more, because in everyones eyes we were different & somehow people made me think my siblings & me, we were 'wrong'.
So green(dad) + red(mom) = brown...(me & my siblings), right?

I explained my thoughts to them & my mother stopped laughing. Only muttering that she hated the moment her plane landed on german Soil. :/

I still bleed red when I accidentally cut myself. And everytime I do such a mistake, I remember the moment one childish question bursting my bubble. This bubble consisted me, my siblings, my parents & my beautiful country.

These days I dislike Germany. For my taste, there are too many Germans in this Country.

By the way, questions like that made me the family clown from a very young age, my family laughed a lot because of me & the stuff I would say. I always spoke my mind.
And most of the time, they would stay silent afterwards, when it hit them, what I was really saying in my way. :D

Well, I had to write this down...
Ciao...


Some new Resource/Stock for you to donwload, use & do not forget to credit.... thanks! :Đ

Bittersweet Black and White
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

6 Steps
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Let me put my hands around your throat & gently squeeze you, dear!

I'm a person who, if she gets furious, acts in extremes. It's either black or white, there are no shades of grey.
If someone argues with me & hurts me, there are only two options, either I hit them in the face after using a few swearwords regarding their ancestory or sexual preferences & habits or I use the silent treatment and walk away. The latter happens mostly if the person is related to me. :D

Yet the fights don't happen often these days, I have been more peaceful for the last years, something no one from my childhood would believe if you told them. But I can get weird, if I have to.

Let's take a step back to late Summer 1993 for a moment.
When I was about 11, I went to a Gymnasium, there one day I asked a classmate from South Africa, what she thought about people who use the cold shoulder or silent treatment, she answered, that she believed the person who uses these methods must be heartless. O...'kay!?

Well, back to January 2010.
To be more precise, the 12'th of January. My mother is being... well she's being herself.
And we had a very huge fight. She won't listen to any word I say.
You see, in my mother's eyes to be a grown & knowledgable woman you have to be married, have at least one child, & must have build a house with your bare hands and/or on your own(everything she had done by the time she was 19, literally), then... and only then can you say something that she might actually listen to... might!

I was fed up and screamed at her, then it clicked inside me. I set up the big red-brick wall in my mind & left her standing alone in the dining room. Starting my silent treatment on that day.

Until today.
34 days no talking to her & not listening when she would talk with me.
And not eating if she did cook something delicious for me, and that one actually hurt me more than her huge ego!!! :D

Then, this noon I saw her lying on the couch in the sitting room, moaning in pain, she had been sick a few times since the morning... and my heart ached. *sniffle*
Father told me, that she refused to eat all day because she was afraid of getting sick again.
I made her eat something, I'm still mad at her mind you, but she had to eat!

It hurt seeing her like that, I just had to talk a little bit to her, though I did behave a bit gruff. I mean, at least I did try, right?
After all I wanted nothing more than to shake her, and pick up the argument where we left it last time, something along the lines of:"You *peep* woman, why won't you f**king listen to me!? *Peep* you & your *peep*'ing family's thickheadedness... *Peep*, you*re so *peep*... *peep* *peep *peeeeeeep*!"
But I didn't, instead I stuffed her face with food & made her some Camomile Tea! <3

Let's see what tomorrow brings, if she's being a thorn in the back as soon as she feels better, I might reconsider a new round of the silent treatment.

What I was trying to say is, I am not really heartless. I love her. But this woman just knows which buttons she has to push. And there are moments where I just ask myself if she does it for fun or something.

I have the slight feeling, this post makes me sound like a bad person. D:
Oops, it's 5:20am & I need at least 4 hours of sleep before I have to start the new project today.

Goodnight,
Nokta

Of course you get the next set of Stocks/Resources... download, use & credit properly, please!

Tsws 005
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

Truc-01
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Excited & Canada(PartI)

One more Day! :) I am so excited, so absolutely excited! -Why?

For a fortnight I will watch the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, Canada on the TV & Net.
  1. I adore Canada
  2. I love Winter
  3. I like the Olympics
Canada... remember the first time I watched a canadian Horror Movie, I was 3 or 4? It's been so long ago, but the Movie was awesome, so gory! I only remember how people would run into a hotel, trying to get as high as possible, and as far away as possible away from the infected(?) ones who would puke strange stuff, it was from the late 70'ties or early 80'ties. and was there Donald Sutherland in it? I really cannot remember, only thing I know is, the Movie was so entertaining & I enjoyed it!

Then I remember, the Summer of 1987, we were in Turkey for 3 Months and I had bought my first own Cassette from Queen Both my older Brothers & I would listen to Madonna's 'True Blue Album' & Johnny Logan's 'Hold Me Now Album'.
We were watching the 2'nd World Championships in Athletics in Rome, and I was screaming at the top my Lungs for the one and only Ben Johnson. Who was, you guessed right, Canadian (well he was born Jamaican, but I only saw the tiny canadian Flag beside his Name) ;)

Around 1989 my Mother got sent a huge Lexicon of the World from Reader's Digest, it was more like a Tome(I can easily give you an Traumatic Brain Injury with it), I still have it lying at the bottom of one of my bookshelves. It's outdated but you can find some Countries, Cities & Flags that are not anymore. ^_^;

When my mother opened the big Package that contained it, I opened the Book and searched for Canada, not finding it first, because I had forgotten that in Germany we write it like this -> Kanada.
Searching it at the letter C & asking my Mother what kind of stupid Lexicon it was if it had not one of the biggest Countries of the World in it, I laughed a second later when I realised what was wrong!
For weeks I would read about this beautiful Country, there even were some big photographs from turkish, canadian & german Places, it made me happy.

I was a child but intelligent enough to know that Canada was further away from my Home than Turkey already was. And back then we had no Internet, only german BTX, which wasn't really useful as is the internet, and terribly expensive on top! :D

So I started reading everything I could get my hands one about Canada.
They made good Movies, Captain Kirk was one, well more like the Actor but... :D
They had awesome Weather (Yes, I think mostly cold Weather is awesome!!!)
& Great Sports, with lots of Fights in them! <3
Also they have gorgeous Flora & Fauna!!!

*sighs* Rereading this Entry I have to laugh, can any english speaking individual even understand one word when I get excited.
I have the feeling I use german idioms & grammar sometimes, and that I digress too much, sorry. ;) I still hope you get what i mean.

So, if you have the time to comment, what do you think of my Interpretation of the Olympic Flag at the top of this Blog-Entry? It took me 20 Minutes & I think in some way it is much better than the real one! XD ...And sorry for all the Links in this Post, I just had so much fun including some.

Yours,
Nokta

P.S.: After not including any in my last Post, I hope you'll like these new Stocks/Resources!
You should know the rules by now... download, use & credit! ;)

TgS-11
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

TgS-10
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

TgS-09
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART

Sunday, 7 February 2010

I got the Happy Award!


I was one of those awarded by the lovely Jesse last evening. Thank you. :)

What you have to do.:

1. Link the blogger who gave you the award on your post...

2. Write 10 things that make you happy...

3. Share it with at least 10 friends...


My happy list.:

1. It makes me happy whenever I learn a new Language(or parts of it) & a new Writing System...

2. It makes me happy when I can listen to lots of Music! Music is like Air to me...

3. It makes me happy as soon as the Weather gets colder and there's Rain, Fog, harsh Winds and/or Snow...

4. It makes me happy when my Muse strikes me & I am able to create new Art...

5. It makes me always happy when my Dog, the Cats & our Bird are happy. Especially my Dog, he is my Baby...

6. It makes me happy to do some traditional Crafts by hand every now & then, just because I can...

7. It makes me happy when I reach an important Point in my Life...

8. It makes me happy when I am able to be lazy, just lounging & daydreaming...

9. It makes me happy when I can read Books or watch Movies that are scary, gory and/or horror...

10. It makes me happy on the rare occasions when I feel uterrly tranquil & serene...


Now I tag... (in no special order)
01. rangr
02. nobu
03. calicolyst
04. theBluesman
05. Muza-chan
06. DUTA
07. Kevin Atteridg
08. ruma2008
09. Pinecone Camp
10. Kass

Monday, 1 February 2010

Palindrome Date anyone?

Yup, today it is the First of February in the Year 2010.
01.02.2010

Which means, this Date is a Palindrome, at least in Countries like mine where we write the Date like this. :)

Palindrome, this word makes me laugh, it sounds like an abbreviation for Palin Syndrome.
I would even know how to spot this... Symptoms might include...
01. Lots of different weird glasses
02. Funny hairdo with an even funnier side parting. (which
accidentally coincides on which side to wear, with a
certain well known german Dictator Politician)
03. An unsettling 'Plastic Smile'
04. So much make-up/foundation/concealer, you won't be able
to see a single pore
05. Cheap colourised hair strands
06. Wearing Costumes/Suits with shoulder pads (you know, I
liked the 80'ties, really... the emphasis
lies on the Preterite of 'to like')
07. Failing in raising their own infants
08. Even more hideous 90's make-up

I think there might be a few more, but I'll drop it for now.

Yeah, well, Palindrome Day.
Which ends in a few hours, so good night y'all... C:

Some Stock/Resources... and as always... download, use, hafe fun & credit me!

20090502
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

20090504 - 02
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART
&

20090504
by ~PinkPanthress-Stock on deviantART

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